If I tell you that "You can't give if you don't know how to receive”How does that react in you?
Does that seem supposed to you? Does this thought shock you?
I recently read that burnout is the disease to "give too much" and in these end of year times, it questioned me.
(By the way, if you're team "I love to receive", read anyway 😉)
Do the following sentences speak to you?
"I gave everything in this project."
"I have no more juice, nothing to give."
"I like to give, but not to receive."
“I don't know how to receive a gift, I’m embarrassed.”
These sentences, which I know very very well, have a common point: a imbalance Between giving and receiving. Giving and receiving are an energy exchange. Giving without measure and without counterbalanced by receiving to the same extent that the wings are burned.
In order not to help us, it is highly valued socially or religiously to be in the gift, and little in receiving it because it is estimated to be too selfish.
However, I assert - but that only engages me - that we are bad donors when we do not really know how to receive. I can not really love My next one that when I have made and humblely received the donation of unconditional love that I received from another that loved me first.
Without that, the gift is rarely free because from injuries and needs. I can read you a few that I spotted:
🏷️ Need recognition and love : The other then perceives me as generous, benevolent, and this look of the other strengthens my ego and these qualities that I do not perceive enough myself. I seek that to be loved.
🏷️ Self -esteem : I do not perceive my value and therefore I do not feel “deserve” to receive. "No, I'm fine, I don't need anything ..." Really?
🏷️ Feeling of superiority : Yes I know it stings, but the fact of being able to offer something that the other does not have to unconsciously induce a feeling of superiority which can be hidden and especially that we are not going to admit!
🏷️ Need reciprocity: It is very human and natural to give what we would like to receive. Do I give to that on return, I have a similar donation? If this gift is not experienced in total free, without waiting for a return, we end up saying that still, these people are ungrateful!
To give is also to know how to give yourself to yourself, and therefore to receive yourself.
When I give myself a rest time that will make me feel good, it is a gift that I have to myself. I still sometimes have trouble with that because somewhere, I still have the feeling of not "deserving" this rest sufficiently. 🙄
But I can see it differently: not to rest keep me in exhaustion. Which prevents me from being able to give and transmit what I have to give. In the end, not to rest is a selfish act. Outch! It stings ! Had you thought about that?
When I know how to receive, I am again emotionally loaded, physically and in a state to give a generous fairly, in the momentum of abundance in which I am.
Know how to receive develops my ability to be grateful, Connects to the other, gets me out of this crazy thought that I "can do everything on my own and that I don't need anyone".
Everything is a matter of balance, equity and healthy relationship, to oneself and to others.
It is good to know that the return of donation can however be done by another person than the one to whom we have given! The virtuous circle to give and receive is really very wide!
So, do you give more than you receive, or vice versa? How could you concretely find your balance?
Has one of the points told you? When we tell you about giving, receiving, what does it awaken in you as thoughts, as sensations in your body? Are you comfortable with both words?
Answer me in the comments or by email if you want to share your thoughts on this subject or if you have ideas of themes that you would like me to approach (info@artkintsugi.com)
Do you like this kind of reflection? Join my Exclusive list, composed of resilient people. I share the nuggets from my own path, what helped me get out of a wheelchair and an overview of my career as a resilient artist.
