Have you ever heard this phrase? What chronically ill person hasn't hit it in the face?
This sentence from people who don't really understand the chronic part of chronic illness, moreover, said with a sigh of exasperation, as if you didn't care...
You know this feeling, don't you?
This feeling of being judged on your progress in your health, on your schedule, your way of living, "have you tried this or that method? No? You should.
You have the feeling that time stretches, stretches, and sometimes seems to play tricks when you are in the grip of a chronic illness. The infinite time sometimes when we wait years to be correctly diagnosed. Once we are no longer in cases of medical emergency, and the first tests are hardly conclusive, we are left hanging around to see the specialists. We become “patients”.
It has become our job. We wait... as best we can.
We watch our loved ones follow the hectic pace of daily life, while we take each day as it comes, with its ups and downs. I also went through this, for 12 years, in the whirlwind of a debilitating illness.
The notion of time
Time sometimes escapes us. It can seem slow, elastic, almost restive, each day seems infinite to us, especially when pain is involved. The hands of the living room clock sometimes seem to have stopped.
Those around us, out of love, concern for us and at the same time out of incomprehension, can say to us: "Is it okay? Are you better anyway?" But we know it doesn't work that way. Every day is an adventure in itself. Bright days, more difficult days, days that seem insurmountable. And that's OK.
We seem to be in another space-time.
Our bodies force us to take breaks.
To stop more often.
To take a slower pace.
To plan much further in advance.
To take more time to do things.
We then learn to create our own rhythm, our own dance over time. However, we sometimes experience a sort of love-hate relationship with the passage of time and the frustration of not being able to do everything we want.
See time differently
To no longer endure it, I offer you another reading of time: Rather than considering it as an adversary, why not make the passing of time our ally?
It offers us the opportunity to dig within ourselves. Far from the usual distractions, we face ourselves, our reactions when we are tired and a little grumpy, our frustrations which paradoxically show us the path to our greatest joys, to what matters most to us.
It forces us to get out of the whirlwind of this “time is money” system.
Without being able to "kill time" in a thousand different ways, we are invited to embrace this time. To make him an ally. To find what really fascinates us.
We have time to be present. This painful present may not be easy to live with, so we can deploy our creativity to make this past time as pleasant as possible. It’s up to us to find what brings us joy.
We have time to pay attention to what is happening around us.
To exchange a word, a smile with someone.
We can rely on quality time.
On what really matters
About these little things that beautify our daily lives.
Times of suffering also allow us to deeply understand that of others.
We can then, in turn, give an attentive ear, an appreciated understanding.
A friend told me "The passage of time can also be a hope in becoming more experienced in controlling one's ailments. Time helps one learn and also understand... understand in order to better manage and understand."
The Kintsugi Process
Kintsugi is a school of patience and slowness. While the desire is pressing to move on to the step in which we apply the gold powder, but it is a process that takes its time, and one of the steps is waiting.
This step invites us to take the time, to give ourselves time. Getting to the bottom of yourself takes time and that's completely normal. Every moment spent persevering, creating, continuing to move forward, is a victory over adversity.
One step at a time
Never forget that every day is a victory in itself. Every small step forward expresses your resilience, it is a declaration of strength and courage. You are an inspiration to those around you, whether you know it or not.
And you ? What is your relationship with time and chronic illness? Share it in comments or on my email: info@artkintsugi
I want to convey the message to you, through my art of resilience, that it is not a race against time or life, but a journey.
If you want to dive deeper into the world of Art of resilience, join my newsletter. I share my own journey of resilience through my art. This is where I unveil the behind-the-scenes of my artistic and personal process, the triumphs and challenges, so we can grow together.
I particularly thank my friend Réal who shared with me his thoughts on his own ailments and relationship to time for this article. He does magnificent Kintsugi repairs and I invite you to take a ride on his website. Did an object break? It will make a very nice Kintsugi repair to give a second life to this object dear to you!
